Robotic Living

We are here living our life sometimes like robots doing the same thing over and over again well until death. It nice to have a bit of change in our regular routine. Yet,there always that one bad apple that has to emerge into fear. Spreading that fear onto others on days that are meant to bring joy or even just a regular day. Where people are just having fun changing their robotic theme lives. I say robotic because that how I feel. We are constantly working. Yet, we at least my family is still struggling. Even with three of us working, it isn’t enough. Again in the same situation because of him. Rent is high, we wanted to buy a house but for some reason my mom won’t without him. I don’t know why she keeps letting him back in. Is it because he can’t see at night? Is it because his kids don’t call him dad? Is it because she has a heart and doesn’t want to leave him alone? Or is she scared of being alone? Even though I would take her anywhere I go. I honestly don’t know. Rent high , making bills hard to paid, my brother not enjoying much of his last year in school before real life set in. I’m still struggling to leave but I can’t , because well they at least Mom and brother are my family. No matter what I am going to love them. Don’t know what life or God wants me to do. I just know I’m over this shit fixing “father” mess once again. He is here , yet again once more my “father” I said hi and walk. His response was “I want to talk to you” this is after my mom and I already talk about our situation. What really shows the relationship is mess up is that “father” used the word usted. In Spanish that word is used for elderly, and for strangers , people you barely know. So then why the hell, is he here again, acting like he is the man of the household? Why can’t he just leave us alone? Why is my mom so dependent on him? I don’t know but I hate it. All I know it the same thing , we just continue to live like robots doing the same function every day, and I hate it.

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