As I take a shower and wonder what to write about, I hear my mom  voice telling a story I never knew completely. As a child, I was a handful getting sick constantly, throwing up, coming into the world three days late and only wanting to eat eggs. I have heard the tale that my mother had to get up and basically poop me out. I came into the world in terrible shape. Anytime I would cry, it would be from one eye, a ear bent, and a dark color that no normal human should be. What I never knew ,was the story that happen a month after I was born. As I listen in to my mom talking, I have no idea how to feel. I know I am grateful for being here in this world, I am thankful to be in the states, and I wonder why he hates me so much or why he has change. (He being my “father”). Since I was in the bath room doing my nightly routine, I couldn’t hear the beginning of the story all I heard was “If I don’t call you in three days” but I did sit still lean in to the door to hear the rest.


Ledi was about a month old, she was very sick that weekend, but it was not her normal pace of getting sick, something was off.  I went and took her to the hospital hoping Mike would be okay. He was beginning his journey to leave this country and into the state. Ledi kept getting sicker and sicker. None of his or her family members went to visit me or Ledi at the hospital. We stayed their for a week and only one of my best friend went to visit. I did not hear back from Mike after those three days. I was scared, didn’t know what was happening to my daughter or if my husband was okay. After a week, in the hospital Ledi got better and we went back home. I did not speak to anyone, I just hug her tight remove all the dolls and things that may have cause Mal de Ojo. (Translation: Bad Eye, which is common in various culture said to cause harm unless wearing jewelry that protects it). Still nothing on Mike, until a week later. Ten days, it took him to get to his journey, and he told me that he to was in the hospital for a few days.

That not the rest of the story I just didn’t want to continue listing to it. I did not want to hear how he suffer trying to make a better future for my mom and I. I didn’t want to hear how none of my family ever wonder if I was okay. I didn’t want to be remind that my mom made sure my brother and I have a strong relationship with her because she didn’t have that with her parents. I didn’t want to be remind that my grandparents play favorites to the grandchildren they knew instead of the ones who they never met or seen in years.

I have no idea how to finished this blog, it just I need to share it and get it out there because I need to share. I also want you to know that in the hard times you will know who your true friends and family are.



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