Giving it my All

Every relationship I had going up to college was pure drama and shit. Yet, when I got to college I met a young boy who was a year younger and our relationship was fast. We said the L word a week in, we ate dinner together, we hang out with each other friends. It wasn’t perfect we had our issues to work on, but I truly did love him, and he was my first true love. Little did I know that he was slowly losing his love for me, and when I needed him the most he broke up with me. Now I am use to be the one who being broken up with. It was just the timing that was horrible. I didn’t date for the next two years, where I just focus on my studies and friends, and my self. I did go on dates here and there after those two years and with one person we were going to try. We were going to try , but we figure out that he still had feelings for someone else as I let him chose want he want to do I just became a good friend. That same dude came back to me for support while he didn’t get the answer he was hoping for, mutuplie times I did anything for him, cook dinner, watch shows I didn’t really enjoy , be a “fake gf” but with no sex or kissing.” I gave it my all to make sure he was happy, now he was a gf and I am happy for him. I just wish I would stop being picked second for once in my life in the dating flied. I give it my all , I tired in education and life threw me two curve balls two different years. I tired in the dating games and I am still pick second for whatever reason. Yet, I get told “Your too good for me.” “You find the one soon” and a lot more I am exhausted from it, all I want is someone beside my family to make me feel like my friend is making his gf feel, some one to brag about me, and be happy to see me. I guess I am just exhausted of giving it my all and still not being happy , when I know I deserve to be happy.

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